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The Closure

Before reading this post, please play the music video below and kindly listen until the end.

It’s best that you use earphones and you can play this music video while reading too!

Hello Aiman, I hope you really did listen to the music video above because the meaning of the song is the very essence of this post.

Since we stopped talking like how we used to, I don’t have much update about your current life. You are probably in a relationship right now or you’re in love with someone. Kagaya nga sa kanta above, “You’re in love, that’s the way, it should be cause I want you to be happy”.

Now this post is about 2 of my last wishes.

Let’s Be Friends

While meron pa naman tayong channel of communication, we’re still like strangers to one another. Though wala naman akong right to demand, pero sana basahin mo man lang yung mga message ko. Hindi naman ako nangungulit, just really miss the kind of depth of our previous conversations. Rest assured that every time I talk to you, I do it in good faith. Kilala mo ako, kahit nung kayo pa ni John, never ako naging third party at never kitang nilandi. Ako pa nga yung worried na baka mag away kayo pag nakitang lagi mo akong kasama kaya pag magkikita na kayo, binibilisan ko yung lakad ko ng hindi nya ako makita. I just don’t want to ruin a relationship.  I hate cheating and I would never want to be a part of any cheating. Mapa ako pa yung nag checheat, instrument sa pag cheat or ako yung chine-cheat.

You know I despise it and I consider people who cheat less than a cockroach. Never in my life that I have cheated nor committing it ever crossed my mind for it will haunt me for the rest of my life.

So going straight to the point, I hope we can be real friends. You can talk to me about anything and anytime especially when you have no one to talk to. I do not expect you to do the same for me but I hope at times that your emotions get the best of you and you want to cast the burden out of your chest, please remember that I am willing to listen. I will listen to anything that you’re willing to share and probe nothing more. Even if it’s something that I have zero knowledge, I would still be interested to hear about it and learn something new. Through good and bad times you can talk to me; I can be proud, happy, and empathetic. I will respect the boundaries that you will set and keep myself in my place at all times. Heck, we can even go watch a movie in cinema 76, take a stroll in various malls and go to other events as FRIENDS.

I’d like you to be my very very very best friend and I don’t necessarily have to be yours.

Now if it’s not possible for whatever reason, I just hope you can grant my second wish.

The Letter

My second request is simple. I just want to get the letter that you were supposed to give to me. Kaso lagi mo naiiwan sa bahay nyo sa Ermita. Hindi ako nangungulit noon kasi may kutob akong di maganda na baka break up letter un. Yup I was scared to ask kasi baka biglang magbago yung samahan natin.

But now after more than a year, I am ready to read that letter. I sincerely think that reading that letter will help me in putting everything behind and move on. We just stopped talking to each other and to be honest I don’t completely understand how we just suddenly became strangers. I don’t know why we broke up and I believe that letter will enlighten me.

If it was indeed a break up letter, at least I will understand what actually happened. The truth shall set me free ika nga. I may not be able to fix whatever connection we used to have but knowing my mistakes will help me become a better person. I need to know why you broke up with me, all your complains, all the things you hate about me so I can reflect and make some adjustments so I can be a better partner in the future.

Don’t get me wrong, I am aware of the things you complain about me… but I just really want to know the exact reason of our break up.

Every time I picture out the red gate at your house in Ermita, it reminds me of the letter that I never got.

May the letter help me find peace and embrace closure.

If you have lost it, I humbly request,  in your own capacity, to compose another letter that will serve as the last chapter of this aspect of my life – The Closure.

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